Flying Low

To be honest, it’s been quite a while now—I’ve been feeling like I’m flying low, stuck in a kind of slump since the end of last year.And yet, we’re already approaching a quarter of the new year. Funny, isn’t it.

Last year, I was blessed with so many meaningful connections.It was a full and rewarding year, and I received more recognition than I could have asked for.

Recently, I came across the term

“impostor syndrome.”

Have you heard of it?

It’s when you feel like a fraud—an “impostor”—and believe that the praise or results you receive aren’t truly deserved.

When I read about it, I had a sudden realization:this is something I’ve been experiencing for a long time.

Not only the evaluations I receive from others,but even my own achievements start to feel like they might be overestimated.(Maybe they really are—I don’t know.)

Sometimes, after scrolling through other people’s social media comments too much,I find myself creating harsh words in my own head, as if I’m putting myself down without anyone actually saying anything.

And I end up thinking,“I’m not good enough.”

It’s quite a tricky thing to deal with.

On top of that, I’m usually someone who is constantly moving—working, studying, or doing something.But since the beginning of the year, work has slowed down, and my pace of life has softened a little.

Even though I’ve started a few new things and my days are, in their own way, still in motion,whenever I find a bit of space, I sometimes feel like I’m the only one being left behind by society—like I’m the only one not growing,like I’m not doing anything at all.

That’s what this “low-flying” state feels like.

There’s a line from Kiki’s Delivery Service that I’ve remembered since I was a child whenever I fall into a slump.

Ursula says,“In times like that, all you can do is struggle. Just keep drawing and drawing and drawing.”

Kiki asks,“What if I still can’t?”

Ursula replies,“Then stop drawing. Take a walk, look at the scenery, take a nap—do nothing.Eventually, you’ll suddenly feel like drawing again.”

A few years ago, there was a time when I was mentally exhausted and could barely eat.

I used to hate running, but for various reasons, I decided to run every day.Rain or shine, even just a little—I felt there had to be some meaning in simply continuing.

On particularly difficult days, I would look down at the seams in the asphalt beneath my feet and think,

“Just a few more steps to the next block.”“Little by little, things do change.”

I carried those thoughts alongside the struggles I was facing at the time, moving forward step by step.

(This is also the second “origin” of what I want to convey.)

That memory is still very much alive within me.Even now, just recalling it helps me gently move my feelings forward.

I haven’t fully come out of this low-flying state yet.But still, I find myself thinking, “Well, maybe that’s okay,”letting go of certain things along the way,

and quietly, steadily continuing to build—doing what I can enjoy now,learning and working in ways that are only possible in this moment.

If you happen to be in a similar place,

I hope these words might offer you even a small moment of relief—

a gentle reminder that it’s okay to have times like this.